Whether you’re wondering what the ideal age is to get your teen a smartphone or restrict screen time, or you’re struggling to impose social media limits on your teen, parenting in the digital age is full of big questions. and challenges. This can be a major problem for many parents and guardians – and it’s also relatively uncharted territory for less tech-savvy generations. Most parents didn’t grow up using social media from a young age, making it difficult for them to build relationships and educate.
Even if they feel ill-equipped to address the issue, this should not discourage parents from intervening, as they can play a key role in shaping their children’s healthy use of social media and technology . Staying open to conversation while setting healthy boundaries can help families build trusting relationships and helpful frameworks that will benefit them if and when tricky situations arise online.
Here are some expert tips for navigating this often intimidating and difficult terrain as a parent.
1. Think about how you model healthy technology habits for your child
Parents can lead by example by examining their own limits when it comes to social media use and their reliance on now-ubiquitous devices and services. After all, when it comes to other aspects of daily life, like taking care of your health or driving, you probably already know how you model certain behaviors for your child. Keeping an eye on your own relationship with social media and technology and making sure you don’t fall into reckless and unhealthy habits can help the rest of your family follow suit.
Take a more conscious approach to your own use of technology, which means stopping to consider when it hinders rather than helps your daily life, and especially when it affects your relationship with your child. When you have a better idea of what works for you, it’s easier to set achievable goals and stick to them, even if it’s just limiting screen time by a few extra minutes every day.
The fact is that social media and technology are an important and often integral aspect of many young people’s lives. For this reason, it is important to approach conversations on the topic with a non-judgmental attitude that allows children to feel what they feel. Whether they’re expressing their fear of not having the same device as their friends or their frustration of not being able to keep up with their peers if they’re not glued to TikTok, make them understand that what they’re feeling makes sense. and is understandable. Try to avoid the temptation to fix or educate and simply listen to what your child is trying to communicate – making them feel seen and heard is often half the battle.
3. Teamwork makes the dream come true
When your child pushes boundaries, it’s easy to find yourself facing a conflicting parent-child dynamic. By working together to address the addictive nature of social media and technology, you create a collaborative atmosphere in which your child feels less judged or alone. After all, chances are you yourself have nagging doubts about how best to use or reduce your own screen time.
Get together with your children to find ways to address the challenges of using social media. In practice, this might look like sales questions like, “Why can’t you put your phone down?” or “Why do you care so much about XYZ thing on social media?” to talk about technology as a family and develop a plan on how to tackle these challenges. For example, Nesi says, if everyone is struggling to manage their screen time, maybe you can collaboratively find particular device-free times of day for everyone (like maybe everyone puts their phone on Do Not Disturb during dinner) or places in the house without a device. For example, you can try to make family meals fun again by limiting screen time and focusing on real connection and conversation – if that works for the family.
Try using “we” instead of “you” to get them on board. You can say something like, “I really want us as a family to spend quality time together. How can we figure this out as a family to make sure this happens? »
4. Give them a sense of control
Not only is it best to justify the rules you set around technology (e.g. explaining why they’re not allowed to have a smartphone or why they can’t use a social media platform at a certain age), by involving children in the process of setting limits in the first place can pay dividends.
Ask questions like “What is the appropriate limit on screen time?” » or “What are the rules that make sense regarding your first smartphone?” and “What is the consequence if the rule is not followed?” Having these conversations can help children feel more invested in the boundaries set for them. Not everything will go smoothly, so be prepared for a little conflict. This is fine, as long as the problem can be resolved in a healthy way – which is easier to do if children understand the “why” behind what they are doing.
When it comes to child and youth mental health, the use of social media and technology is only part of the picture. Making sure you cover the basics involves setting out a few crucial elements of their routine. Some experts recommend following the “5 S”:
Sleep
Sleep is absolutely essential to health and well-being throughout our lives, and childhood and adolescence are an important stage for establishing a routine that can serve children well for decades. Encourage them to leave their phones outside their bedroom so they get the best quality sleep possible.
Self-care
Make sure teens take the time to do what they need to feel good and live well. This might include getting some exercise, eating your favorite meal, or taking a hot shower.
Service
Teenagers should prioritize activities that bring them out of themselves, whether it’s a simple random act of kindness like helping a sibling with homework or an activity more formal like volunteering or joining a club.
SKILLS
Learning new things, whether through a hobby or extracurricular activity, is a great way for children to build their self-esteem.
Socialize
Seeing each other face to face rather than through a screen is a key part of children’s social development.
The essential
When it comes to setting limits on social media and technology, many parents face constant resistance from their children, which can be difficult. It can be helpful to understand that technology is an area of life in which teens can naturally assert their independence. This naturally leads to the type of conflict that is a crucial part of development.
The best way to do this is to help your child feel independent, making choices for themselves, and being treated like adults – while simultaneously creating and enforcing rules , expectations and limits that will help him stay alive. securely as you navigate a digital world.